User Profile

Name: Henrietta Crouch (Rettie)
Birthday: 6 Dec 1941
Blood Status: Pure
House (former or current): ex Hufflepuff
Parental Units?: Yes, and I had grandparents also (grandpa used to have a magic carpet before they were banned)
Additional Units?: Brother Barty, sister Rona, nephew Barty

What’s your story, morning glory?: Aaaahhhhaaaaaa.... That would totally be an amazing song lyric, anyway I guess you want to hear my wonderful life story. I am the youngest of the family, although Barty isn't really one to look up to. The three of us are very close in age compared to some families, I was born during the muggle war and was only really starting to be aware of surroundings and such when Dumbledore fought that foreign idiot who tried to take over, I think we lived out in the country as it was too dangerous with all the German muggle bombings to live in London itself at that time, even though dad was amazing at charms and could have protected any house we had. Muggles are so backward, causing so much devastation on each other like that, but then they have to stand back and throw things as they can hardly protect themselves like we can and they can't harm someone just by muttering a few words. Mum said I showed signs of magic early on and so no one was surprised when I was sent off to Hogwarts, it was lonely that year I had to wait while Rona was away in 1st year. There wasn't exactly much to do where we lived and I'm not good with outdoors or animals. Hogwarts was a blast though, Hufflepuff was really homely and there was always someone to talk to, and all Hufflepuffs will talk even if they're ten years younger than you like our friend Ted. An amazing man, slightly clumsy though, I heard he spent his time daydreaming about his now wife and walking into walls. I hear the daughter is a tad clumsy too. I do think that Hogwarts was the best time of my life, since (and for almost 20 years now) I've been living with my sister, we write a gossip column for the magazine Witch Weekly, we're very widely read and very popular. I'm not entirely sure Rona is fond of gossip but she writes it anyway. Double standards eh?

My brother was always a bit of a cowardy-custard, although he managed to find enough backbone to get a job, wife and have child. He's very job-oriented though, very fond of power and quite sour really. He'll probably end up in charge of a division over there in the Ministry. Darling little Barty is wonderful though, closest thing we'll ever get to our own children, such a sweet and cute little boy, loves spending time with us.

Make a string of adjectives: Spinster, ABBA, music, gay, pretty, blonde, friendly, kind, loveable.

What do people love about you?: The column I write with my sister, we specialise in gossip, you'd be amazed how fascinated people are by it.

What do people hate?: That I'm so devastatingly pretty.

Your one crippling weakness: ABBA

If your life was the Titanic and your raft only had room for three people you know, who would they be?: Rona, little Barty and ABBA (though that's four and I don't actually know them...) um, Ted then.

Would you jump off your metaphorical raft to make room for a stranger?: No, don't be stupid.

Share your passions: I met ABBA once and have their autographs, Rona was so jealous, she doesn't show it though. NOT. ABBA are possibly the greatest band on Earth though (those young 'uns up at Hogwarts claim it's that Pink Floyd, with their David Gilmour and ten minute guitar solos, but pop will always win). We have all their albums. It's magic. Rona means the world to me as well, I probably couldn't live without her, but DO NOT tell her that. I'm passionately not fond of my brother, he's fairly useless and is very focussed on work rather than family, poor little Barty must never see him, he loves coming round to visit his aunties and getting sweeties and cake and having fun and being loved. Such a shame about his father.

Your thoughts on this Voldemort bloke: Meh. He's his own person and can do as he likes. He better keep away from my family though. If little Barty ever got caught up in something like that. Well. I can't express how sorry he would be in words, the mere thought makes me shake with anger.

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